The Heat Is On by Katie Rose

Author:Katie Rose
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2016-01-05T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

It was a lot.

Connor drove home, turning off the air conditioner and opening the windows of his sports car. The night air was cool, and he liked the sounds of a New Jersey summer, cicadas, he thought, singing in the trees.

The day he had spent with Tracy and her children was sobering. Not that it wasn’t fun; he’d enjoyed the zoo, and especially enjoyed Tracy’s obvious pleasure that he was open to seeing not only her but her family.

And he’d meant what he said to her. He understood they were a package deal. He couldn’t have Tracy just by herself, unless he was willing to settle for a once-a-week date night.

He didn’t want that, not for her or himself. He wanted to share his life with her, to wake up beside her, to come home knowing that she was there waiting for him.

But that meant she was waiting with four little kids.

He was stunned at how much work it was, being with them all day, both mentally and physically. When he’d woken up beside Chloe, he’d been more than a little embarrassed to know he’d fallen asleep reading her the bedtime story. Tracy had simply laughed, but it made him see what her life must be like day in and day out.

It was a far cry from what he had imagined that day at Carlos’s house. Playing with the children for an hour had seemed like a cakewalk. But someone else was responsible for all the hard work, mediating fights, taking care of them when they were sick, making sure they ate, bathed, slept, and the myriad of other chores that went with raising children.

Tracy’s children were good kids. Adorable. He liked all of them, even Mason, who was keeping him at an arm’s length. Yeah, they fought, they got cranky and tired, and Ethan, even sick. But that’s what was clearly involved with full-time parenting.

And Tracy handled it all with a grace that he admired. How the hell did she manage? And while she didn’t say much about her ex, it was clear he wasn’t a lot of help.

And then he thought of something else. Right before he’d fallen asleep, when he’d been in the midst of reading a story to Chloe, she had burrowed under his arm. Snuggling up against him, her blue eyes met his with a look of adoration and trust that took his breath away.

His heart had melted. That one little glance made him feel strong and weak all at the same time, and he was undone.

So it was crystal clear to him that he had a big decision ahead of him. He couldn’t just “try on” this relationship and see where it went. There were too many little people involved who could get hurt.

It was just like when he decided to become a professional ballplayer. He had to dive in and give it everything he had, or forget it and go in another, easier direction.

It was a long ride home.

—

“It was a disaster.”

Tracy picked up a screaming Lily and put her in her swing.

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